When Motherhood Ministers to You

I vividly remember a night last year when I lay in bed, simultaneously burning with anger and sobbing in disgust at myself.

It had been a long day of teaching 80 fifth graders. By the time the final bell rang, I found myself wondering if I was an underpaid teacher or an overpaid babysitter, having spent most of the day redirecting behavior, documenting it, and contacting parents about it.

After dismissal, I gathered up my three kids and headed home for an evening of solo parenting. My husband was at an important board meeting, so dinner and bedtime were all on me.

I made a homemade meal that two-thirds of my kids didn’t eat, and then moved into the bedtime routine, already running on empty. When I walked downstairs and saw the playroom—toys, books, laundry, trash scattered everywhere—it was the final straw.

Everything in me snapped.

I raised my voice. I spoke harshly. I said things I didn’t mean. I threw what can only be described as an adult-sized toddler tantrum because I wasn’t getting my way.

The shame came quickly and heavily. I could hardly stand the weight of my own words, the state of my heart. Lying in bed, I didn’t even want to talk to God about it. I was convinced He felt as disappointed and disgusted with me as I did.

I’d like to say I had a transformative encounter with the Lord that night, but the truth is, it took me a few days to process all that had unraveled. I couldn’t stop replaying how miserably I had failed as a mother that Tuesday. But in the days that followed, the Lord gently led me to receive His grace, using even that moment to chip away at one more place in my heart He wanted to shape.

What I’m learning is this: the motherhood moments that make me feel like a failure are often the very places where God is doing His deepest forming work.

...the motherhood moments that make me feel like a failure are often the very places where God is doing His deepest forming work.

Before I became a mom, I understood parenting mainly as a ministry I offered my children through teaching, serving, nurturing, and showing up for them daily. And while motherhood certainly involves pouring out, I’m learning it is also a ministry back to me. Even as I give myself away, God uses motherhood to form me.

By the grace of God, I can look back on my journey of parenting so far and rejoice in the ways the Holy Spirit has grown me, matured me, and formed my heart through motherhood. Sure, there are mistakes I wish I could erase, and there are moments, days, even seasons I’m not particularly proud of, but most of all, I’m grateful.

Grateful for the ministry of motherhood. And grateful that motherhood itself has been a ministry to me.

Perhaps this is the full cycle of the ministry of motherhood: God uses it to form us, and then He uses that formation for the good of others. As we grow in grace, we are able to encourage younger women, share hard-won wisdom, and embody the kind of Titus 2 discipleship that happens in ordinary life.

What God cultivates in us through the ministry of motherhood is never meant to stop with us; the grace we receive becomes grace we can offer.

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"When Motherhood Ministers to You" is Entry Two of Sanctuary's May blog series, "Ministry of Motherhood". Stop by Sanctuary each Monday in May 2026 for a brand new entry featuring the encouragement, wisdom, and lessons learned from a fellow Ministry Wife-Momma. How has motherhood ministered to you? Share with us in the comments.

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Lindsay Dryer is a wife and a mom of three kids. She and husband Josh pastor New Life Church in Kenai, AK, and she's also an elementary school teacher. Lindsay most enjoys family time, reading and writing, baking sourdough bread, and any chance to explore new places with her husband. Lindsay writes frequently from her site, Planted, which is hope-filled, Scripture-based encouragement for everyday life and practical resources to help you on your journey of knowing God through studying the Bible. She's also a contributing writer for Wondered by the Word, a 365-day read-through-the-Bible YouVersion reading plan. You can also follow her on Instagram @lindsaydryer.