The Ministry of Presence

“Why am I even here?!” I lamented loudly to my husband in exasperation and defeat. “I’m not doing ministry! It just feels like a ton of work with nothing to show for it…”

Years ago, I remember my youth pastor husband wanting our entire family to attend the youth group’s annual Winter Retreat about two hours away from our home. As I had just entered my ‘mother of two’ era, I excitedly packed up the car with our toddler, newborn, and alllllll the things required for traveling with littles. I had always enjoyed going to these events, interacting with our students, praying with kids at the altars during service, and having meaningful conversations with the girls in between activities. But this time was different.

Between feedings and nap schedules, early bedtimes and snack breaks, I found myself spending most of the weekend in our room - just me and my two kids. As Paul came back late that night after the service had ended, I unleashed my frustration: “I’m not spending time with the girls, I can’t attend the evening services, this feels like a waste of my time...I shouldn’t have even come.”

He sat down and quietly but confidently looked me in the eyes:

“Ashley, your ministry is just being here. Your ministry is your presence. So many of these students don’t come from healthy homes. These girls don’t know what it looks like for a wife to support her husband, or for a mother to care for and disciple her kids. You are doing ministry by simply being here.”

At that moment, I really needed that mindset shift and perhaps you do, too. It’s easy to let motherhood and ministry feel like they’re at odds. I thought I had to pick between “doing ministry” or being present in motherhood…that I couldn’t fully do both.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Sometimes our greatest ministry is simply our presence...

Sometimes our greatest ministry is simply our presence - quietly living out what we believe while faithfully caring for what God has placed in front of us. Don’t underestimate the impact of that. God uses it all, so keep showing up.

It’s been a refining journey as my kids have grown, but I’ve learned this along the way: in both ministry and motherhood, presence is often the most powerful tool we have.

We can’t achieve our way to presence.

We can’t delegate our way to presence.

We can’t lead our way to presence.

We can’t execute our way to presence.

We have to choose to be. And to be present.

Anyone who has sat with someone in grief knows this to be true - your presence often speaks louder than your words. Sometimes it’s more comforting than the perfect prayer, the right Scripture, or even a thoughtful meal. Those things matter, but there’s something deeply powerful about simply being with someone.

The same is true in your home. What you thought ministry would look like may have changed, but the value has not.

If you’re a mother, you cannot separate motherhood from ministry. Motherhood is ministry - not just to your family, but to the people watching your life. Your children, yes - but also the young women, the students, the families who are quietly learning from what they see.

They’re watching how you love.

How you serve.

How you respond when you’re tired.

How you honor your husband.

How you show up again and again.

Motherhood is ministry. And many times, ministry looks a lot like mothering.

And if we’re willing to see it, God will use our everyday, ordinary moments - our presence - to disciple, to demonstrate, and to deeply impact the lives around us.

So if this season finds you feeling unseen, sidelined, or like you’re “not doing enough,” let this be your reminder: You are.

You’re doing more than you think - just by being there.

---

"The Ministry of Presence" is Entry One in Sanctuary's May blog series, "Ministry of Motherhood". Stop by Sanctuary each Monday of May 2026 to read a brand new entry from a Ministry Wife-Momma who is walking out this same journey as you, granting the reader fresh perspective, renewed purpose, and perhaps the "I see you" that's needed to keep going. Share today's feature with a fellow ministry wife-momma. You might just save her day!

---

Ashley Earwood has spent most of her life investing in the local church. From growing up as a pastor’s kid, to working in the corporate branding sector serving other nonprofits, or serving as a ministry leader alongside her pastor husband for 20+ years, her mission continues to be singular in focus: Build His Church. With a heart to see women find their place and run their race, Ashley and her husband Paul currently pastor Bear Creek Church in Lodi, California where she serves as Experience Director and leads Bear Creek Women.

You can find her on Instagram @ashleyearwood_ sharing encouragement for Christian women and musings on ministry life (oh, and funny memes about her toxic trait: leaving the gas tank on empty).